super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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