Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
