its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
