whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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