i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
