her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Too much gin, very little bucket
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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