Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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