Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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