her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
her facebook's as public as her vagina
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
