Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
