do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
