I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
