Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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