the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
