Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
