My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
