we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
