You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
