She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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