she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
