He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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