Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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