My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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