talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
