So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
