He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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