If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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