Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
