yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
