Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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