I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
