Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.

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(438): View more from Quebec

I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...

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(209): View more from California

She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"

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(806): View more from Texas

He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out

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(925): View more from California

We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.

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(641): View more from Iowa

No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..

(563): View more from Iowa

How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them

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