Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
