How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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