all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
