why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
soo... how was my night?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
