I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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