i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
