dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
