Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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