The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is Oprah even human
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
