shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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