sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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