She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
people are starting to question the shark bite story
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He shit in the fireplace
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
