i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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