Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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