my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
