bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
did i walk over a car last night?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
