My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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