And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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