I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
